What If I am Wrong?

by Barry Lee Clark

I began blogging in 2002, occasionally I look back at some of the topics and subjects and realize I have been absolutely wrong on some matters.  These generally relate to specific policy matters or predictions where some policy may or may not have gone. This is to be expected.   If I were correct on every geopolitical issue I have ever blogged about, there were many, I would be highly paid and on CNN, Fox etc. each night.

Through all of my writing, when I re-read,  I see foundational principles, some have matured and evolved, but they exist as tangible artifacts.  The trouble I find within myself is that the world around me has also evolved and changed - at a rapid pace and for the most part opposite of the principles I have come to believe.  Today, as a thought exercise, I wondered to myself if I am wrong?

Could it be that the progressive, humanist path that the world around me is leaning toward is correct? Does the fact that the majority seem to be on a particular trajectory validate their perspective?  Sometimes, in the quiet moments, one wonders - just for a moment.  Then common-sense prevails.

The center is more left-leaning than ever before, what were once crazed liberal notions are generally accepted by a majority of Americans. The far left is rabid, extreme and frankly frightening in their mob-like mentality.   It is not a far stretch to imagine guillotines in some version of the future if that crowd continues its path.

The intellectual core of the old right has been relegated to obscurity, ignored by the ordinary conservative man as ineffective and vilified by the extreme left as "educated racist" and curmudgeons.  The problem is, these men (the educated paleoconservatives), in my mind and understanding, were and are right.  In all of my reading and dialogue with them, I have never detected racism. But alas, that does not matter.  That word is a powerful tool of the thought police on the left. It tends to silence the voice of those it is applied to.

The first politician I supported after college was Patrick J. Buchanan.  His culture war speech in 1992 was for me a clarion call of understanding and enlightenment. Of course, as John Seiler contends, the Republican party never fought the cultural war that Pat mentioned was already underway.

I spent the 1990's primarily concerned with making a living as a young man and starting a family.  I listened to Rush Limbaugh during that period but by the early 2000's and a tour in Iraq, I had grown tired of partisan politics and our team versus theirs non-sense.

I became attracted again to ideas of history and political science from my days at The Citadel.  I still have fond memories of Capt. John Coussons USN (Ret) and his wonderful lectures.  It was from this foundation I abandoned the dribble of partisan politics and talk radio and found new compatriots.

I rediscovered Pat Buchanan's writing on various sites and through those sites, I discovered men like Dr. Clyde N. Wilson.  I was a big supporter and follower of the League of the South in its early days.  I was attracted to the notion that a way to save the nation was to recognize that the US was still made up of very different people groups.  The South was still the heart of the last vestiges of true conservatism.   The League of the South in the early days proposed revitalization of states' rights and nullification as means to protect the minority of Christian conservatives in the South from the growing and tyrannical majority elsewhere.

In 2002, I began blogging.  I found like-minded other bloggers, we even formed a blog Alliance called the Rebel Alliance.  We blogged about history, conservatism and ways to save the South from the cultural war we had been losing since before Buchanan's speech in 1992.  I ran my first website for a couple years, called The Southern Nationalist. It as not my best work, there were errors, but fundamentally and principally as I look back at that archive I stand by it.

I meet a fellow named Cory Burnell who had an "outrageous" plan to help move Christians from their minority communities in other parts of the US to South Carolina, the group was called Christian Exodus.  I agreed with the concept.   Consolidating voting power in an already conservative state and then applying states' rights principles seemed a good plan.  In principle, I stand by my support of this idea.

Christian Exodus was doomed from the start.  The media had a field day with this, a bunch of crazy Christians planning to move to concentrate their votes.  I was heavily involved and spoke often with Cory electronically and digitally.  He was never what he was portrayed to be.  Dogmatically he represented the sort of Mere Christianity, I believe in.  He was no crazy-man and certainly not a cult leader.  However, the media reaction was to be expected.

What I did not expect was the reaction from conservative Christians in South Carolina.  These ranged from, "we should be in the world but not part of it" to a "toe the Republican party line" of partisan politics as usual.

I started another web project during my dealings with Christian Exodus, The American Secessionist Project. That work began with the principle that all people, in all times and places should have the right to determine their own form of government and that secession was a legitimate means to achieve that.   I had the chance to dialogue with people managing secession movements in Hawaii, California, Vermont, Texas, New Hampshire.  I met, Kirkpatrick Sale, a fascinating fellow, through this project.  He ran The Middlebury Institute.

In my work with the secessionist project I encountered, Dr. Thomas J. DiLorenzo, Dr. Thomas J. Woods Jr., Dr. Walter E. Block and Dr. Donald W. Livingston. The writing of these men inspired and informed me and reinforced principles that were becoming cemented.  We published the first twenty Secessionionist Papers on the site, these would become the nucleus of an eventual book, The Annotated Secessionist Papers, now in its second edition.

I stand by all of that.  Time has proven me (and Patrick J. Buchanan) right.  The culture war was never fought, but it was lost.  Centralization of power in the Federal Government has only increased and the tide has not only turned, it has likely washed away any hope of a return to the Americanism and America many of us grew up to believe in.

There was perhaps a moment, I suspect it was in early 2000, just after the abhorrent years of a Clinton administration and before the events of 9/11 that both solidified nationalism and fractured conservatives.  I missed that moment.  I was just waking up from the long sleep of the 1990's and my talk radio addiction.  I surmised this event later, reading what people had written, what they felt and what they believed.  I also began to witness the fracturing of the conservative movement, I did not fully understand all of the "why", that took time, but I witnessed it first hand.

First, there were the anti-war conservatives (paleos mostly and some libertarians), opposed to the neoconservatives that seemed to want to use 9/11 to reshape the world in the way WWII did.  Most ordinary conservative Americans were too caught up in the nationalist rush of emotions to listen to the principles of the paleos.  The Cindy Sheehans of the world, with their wild emotional ranting and action, did not help the cause.  Ordinary conservatives did not want to be associated with someone like that, so most tuned out the paleoconservatives.

(My personal views on the war in Iraq only changed once, during a deployment.  I did not really come to agree with what we were doing or to think it would make a positive difference but the atrocities of the other guys got my dander up.)

Second, and more subtly, there was disaffection within the paleoconservative movement itself.   Where once groups like the League of the South and others identified with something that the 12 Southerners would have embraced many began to realize the culture war was already lost and seek shelter.   Many on the left had labeled these groups racist since the start, but at some point in the early 2000's race did become a focus for some groups.

This happened to one of the fellows I used to write with. One of the members of the Rebel Alliance, my old blogging group left us one day.  I found him years later, still the same guy in principle, but now an Identity advocate convinced that all is lost and his efforts should focus on saving just white Southerners.

Many who were once supporters of paleoconservative principles just grew tired of losing, tired of overly educated people talking about principles while the world burned. They wanted results. Some turned to Identity politics, some gave up in the mid to late 2000s, others embraced neoconservatism. Many more went on to become the "deplorables". 

The result is much like the effect WWII had on the Old Right conservatives - paleoconservatism with its high ideals, principles and talk of political philosophers just fell out of favor and was replaced by more pedestrian and bellicose forms. The election of 2000 and the attacks of 9/11 were significant turning points.

We will never know the cost of a few hanging chads in Florida.  Perhaps the best thing that could have happened for our future would have been if the fruitcake Al Gore had won the 2000 election as opposed to the neoconservative Bush.   Perhaps Gore would have fumbled the 9/11 thing but it is hard to imagine more so that W.  Perhaps four or eight more years of socialist, progressive nonsense would have kept the paleo-right intact.   Perhaps there would have been a chance for principled change and a way to win the culture war and the war on liberty and good government. We will never know.

Instead.  We suffered through Bush and neoconservative wars that served no purpose.  We suffered through Obama and his ushering in moral atrocities we will likely never remove from the law now.

(I had hope in 2008 for Ron Paul, simply because he is such a principled man but he never had a chance)

All of this only served to divide the far right and the far left and isolate men that think, speak and act from sound principles from the debate.  It left the ordinary right and left to choose between a socialist and a populist while Antifa and the Alt-Right clash in the streets.  We are so very divided now, dangerously so.

Academia is lost.  I do not know where men like Wilson or Livingston will come from to teach a new generation.  I was so fortunate to sit in lectures by a man like John Coussons but I cannot imagine in the current state of liberal education someone like him could gain a professorship much less tenure.

Wikipedia, the go to source of knowledge for so many contains such bias and inaccuracies - it is filled with historical revisionist dribble. Those without proper educational and foundational knowledge will never know the truth about people, events and issues.

Social Media is controlled by corporations that at a whim decide who sees what.   The truth will never be found there.

The mainstream media is intolerable.  Fox is nothing but a partisan patsy and all of the others are 24/7 liberal propaganda outlets.  There is no news in the news any longer, no truth to be found there.

What if I were wrong all this time, thinking that my meager voice might help advance the cause of real dialogue?   Perhaps I was, I suspect I will never know if any of my past, present or future efforts have any effect.

I do know, I have not been wrong on principles.

• Christian culture is worth preserving. 
• Natural Law exists and there is a Creator that formed it.
• Revisionist History should be opposed and corrected.  
• Good Government is a government that governs the least and adheres to its own laws.  
• Socialism in any form leads to evil.  
• Progressivism coupled with humanism leads to evil.  
• We do not always know more than the people that lived before us. 
• History, family and culture are important. 
• Might does not make right.

Those principles have been core to everything I have written since I began blogging and in those principles.

Ultimately, I have not been wrong.

I shall keep onkeeping on.  I blog primarily at The Calhoun Institute and barryclark.info

Redemption

Much has occurred since I left the blogshere last June. For starters I allowed my domain name (southernnationalist.org) to expire. The group I started that project with is an interesting lot. It consists of fellows I made a vow with back in 1989. We will someday renew our cooperation but the work of Southern Nationalist ran its course. I also allowed the domain name for the American Secession Project to expire. I did not intend for that to occur, but my inattention to such matters ruled the day. In the process I lost some of the excellent papers (Secessionist Papers) written by some of the contributors. That is a real shame. A few months back I even received an email from a fellow involved with the Mildbury Institute asking me to participate in a secessionist conference. At the time I was not ready to contemplate such participation. I was still deeply involved in the objective of my hiatus. The biggest downside of letting my domain name expire was the loss of my email. My new address is posted to the left. I apologize to anyone that emailed me in the interim.

I notice that many more things have occurred. Stoney is gone and his page defunct. Likewise Matt, I notice someone else in blogging under his blogspot address now. Arkie is on a hiatus of his on with no explanation given on his page. It is encouraging that the membership rolls of the Rebel Alliance have grown tremendously.

I went completely AWOL from Christian Exodus. It was not intentional. The reasons and questions present in my head which precipitated my hiatus made is difficult for me to articulate why I simply had to pull away for everything related to the broader movement. I must apologize to Cory, Celtie, Sam and all the other good folks that fought and are still fighting the good fight. I will do that in good time personally. I would have been of little use to them the last year and my greatest fear was that my personal questions might have in some way discouraged them. Thus I left quietly and went off to arrive at answers on my own.

There are undoubtedly many other negative ramifications to my departure. The loss of my domain name will make it very difficult for anyone that read my blog in the past to find me now. I actually worked very hard on web optimization and search engine placement in the past and had good results getting people to find me based upon the topics I wanted to present. With a blogspot address that will simply not be as successful and at this point I am not ready to spend money on a domain name. I am not sure yet where I will take my blogging efforts.

I turned off blogging and stopped reading or answering most 'movement' related email for a simple yet complicated reason. I asked myself what is the point, what is possible, what will happen and what ought we do to get there. I have been constantly torn between my dispensational upbringing and my more or less covenantial adult outlook. I have pondered what is right; religiously, morally, and socially. I have contemplated the meaning of the word duty and what it means in the here and now and as it relates to future generations.

I began my contemplations with a bleak worldview. I became convinced that a few good people were doing the right thing, a lot of good people thought they were doing the right thing but consistently got it all wrong and the remainder were doing whatever was best for them. The last group by the way consistently seemed to do what was bad for the whole even if that was not their original intent. I was ready to give up. I have already sold my soul to an organization that does things on a daily basis that are inconsistent with my core beliefs. I have fought and killed for a country that has lost its way. I considered myself as much a part of the problem as any of the decision makers I loathe so intensely.


I began my search in the Bible and on my knees. I came up with only one concept to guide me through my ponderings, REDEMPTION. Redemption is what most religions teach in one form or another, some through knowledge, others through ritual, and Christianity through grace. Once I knew the real question and how to posit the inquiry I was set.

I am not talking about personal redemption; I am referring to the redemption of society, culture and our nation. In the Christian world there are two prevailing views regarding redemption, that of the dispensationalist and that of those that adhere to covenantial viewpoint. This is an oversimplification of course but the is beauty in simplicity.

The problem with the dispensationalist view is that they are convinced that the end of times is near and therefore it is unnecessary to contemplate multi-generational changes in the fabric of the world. So long as the dispensationalist votes for a politician that says they support Israel and gives lip service to hot button issues such as abortion all is well. To the dispensationalist it is most important to have your own house in order.

The problem with the covenantial point of view is that they do not give much credence to the notion of an end of times at all. They look to the promises of redemption in the Bible as applying to the Church as a whole. They believe that they church can redeem the world in Christ's name if only they can get their stuff right and work hard enough.

Neither view works well. The Church is the body of Christ on Earth but is it run by men, fallible men. The dispensationalist have it right in that only God himself can redeem the entire world, some through the acceptance of salvation and other through fire when the end of times actually occurs. That the dispensationalist occupy so much of their theology and dogma on the notion that the end is near is their downfall. It prevents them from working for small victories of redemption (collective not personal). The covenantial viewpoint often prevents those of that perspective from letting go of the global concept and instead focusing on what is obtainable and winnable.

Few are capable of facing the cold ugly truth. The real truth is that we do not know when the end may come but it will come indeed. Many before us have looked at the signs and proclaimed it was in their day. I know many "experts" make a living peddling arguments that "never before in history have all the prophecies been fulfilled". These people could be right, but then again they may have it all wrong. The Bible tells us that no man knows the time.

The uglier still part of that truth is that we will be here from now until when ever the end does come. Things will not get better overall, they will get worse. Immorality, abominations, governmental encroachments into every facet of our lives, wars and rumors of wars, all of this will continue. Good culture will continue to pass away from the mainstream of popular culture. Society will continue to marginalize Bible-believing and Christ following Christians. If time continues a time will come when Bible-based Christians will be considered bigots and hate-mongers by society in general. In time the citizenry will completely forget the notion of personal freedom or privacy. We will, and already are to a large degree, accept governmental oversight of every aspect of our lives. To remain a freedom loving, principled Christian in the future will indeed be a challenge. Only the brave will walk the true path. Many will continue to claim Christianity and certainly new-aged, feel good congregations will continue to service these people but this will not comprise the church.

A year ago I was despondent over what I perceived as my personal and our collective inability to effectively change anything of substance. A few folks have good ideas and a small minority are actually working on sustainable and potentially successful projects. However, when one considers the general apathy of the general population, the advanced state of moral decay, the atrophy of good culture and the proven historical propensity of man to corrupt every good thing the outlook seemed bleak to me. I saw no point in fighting the fight any longer. I saw no reason to hope for anything better.

I spent the last year reading extensively. As I stated above I began with the Bible but I did not stop there. I have developed a theory of what will occur and why. Much of what I now believe is based upon historical, geopolitical and economic trends. My overall theory is tempered with faith and my understanding of the Bible. For many that in and of itself is enough to discount all I will say. So be it, I cannot speak to people that discount the Bible in a convincing way and that segment of the population will never be my audience.

I will write in time in detail about the particulars of my theory and attempt to provide proof and expanded justification for each point. For now I will merely summarize.

I believe the world as we know it is most likely a long way from the final judgment. Prophecy based preachers may claim that all the signs are there but that does not make it so. Jesus told his disciples of their fate, they would be tested, tortured and die because of their beliefs. God did not condemn Sodom and Gomora until all but one family had turned from righteousness. The notion that the church and believers will get off so easy as to be raptured away from the worst that the world has to offer is naive, likewise the notion that the church or Christians as a people will ever redeem the world and its institutions is foolish and naive. We are in essence engaged in a multi-generational war that we ourselves cannot and will not win. Our only hope is to win enough battles to enable our children the opportunity to continue the fight until the cavalry arrives. We can win small battles. This is, I now firmly believe, our true charge and commission in life. We must influence as many around us as we can, we must fight the good fight even when it is hopeless.

In practical terms this is what I see for the world. The United States is a waning power; economically, morally, and militarily. People argue over the validity and scope of these areas of decline (most fools do not even have a clue as to the military decline) but in coming posts I hope establish these as undeniable facts. The world is preparing for a seismic paradigm shift geopolitically and economically. Already China and its vast markets are influencing the status quo. The European Union, that decadent old man, is rising in power and influence, and getting into bed with China. The dollar struggles daily, burdened by excessive national debt and an enormous trade deficit. Immigration continues unchecked. Our education system is a complete failure. Our once noble system of government was long ago usurped by politicians and law making judges.

The United States will fade from the pages of history. Our zenith was much briefer than many historical world powers. The United States represented what was a grand hope for Christian values and morals in the world. Our downfall is as much a result of our abandonment of that commission as it is due to our greed and avarice.

The fall will not come abruptly. It will be long, slow and painful. Just like in ancient Rome, most citizens will not realize what is occurring until it has long since become a reality. The march toward socialism, began under Roosevelt, will continue. Totalitarianism, made so fashionable and passable by Bush after 9/11, will continue apace. The economic downfall will likely be incremental, even bearable if viewed in tunnel vision. There will however, come a time when the American public readily accepts taxation at 80-90%, inflation at 4-5% (or higher). GDP for now seems to outpace inflation (3.55% vs. 3.59%) but this does not account for the market orientation of our economy. Real industrial output is the key to long-term viability. It is true enough that the world economy is flatter and more interconnected than at any point in history. Most economist view the shift to a market and service economy in the US as non-problematic. They are fundamentally wrong, unsustainable spending on numerous governmental programs, enormous debt, and a growing trade deficit will all eventually demand retribution. It is a simple conclusion that if you spend too much, borrow too much and do not make enough eventually you will find yourself in trouble. No arguments that the world economy is too complicated for such comparisons can dispel that fundamental truth.

What does this mean? In the short term the US will continue as the defacto military superpower. We have not engaged an enemy that exposes the weaknesses within the military. Money and technology can and do compensate for flaws. It helps also if you fight weakling nations. In time the money will become scarce and without the money technology is hard to obtain or maintain. What will be left is the defective organization, the product of fifty years of social experimentation and deliberate dumbing down. On the home front the pretense of the “War on Terror” will continue to accelerate the march toward an Orwellian future. The events of 9/11 are not solely responsible for an increase in the tyranny level but it has certainly made it easier for the government to find its way into every facet of our lives. Our education system produces citizens incapable of wisely voting or exercising their proper role. This not only makes it possible for corrupt politicians to continue to “lead’ the nation down a path toward destruction it also makes it difficult to find people of real worth to invent, create and make; items required in a sustainable industrial economy.

Morally the nation declines every year. Clearly there are still among us enough right thinking Christians to press certain issues (unsuccessfully). The notion that several states may ban abortion is but one example. These are minor and temporary victories (if they become victories at all). More likely these will be temporary movements in the right direction, followed by massive movements back toward evil. In time just speaking out against the immorality of homosexuality will equate to bigotry. The notion of denying gay couples parental rights is already viewed in many places as discriminatory. The Christian right has lost every battle it has fought for the last 40 years. They will continue to lose the war no matter what minor, temporary victories they achieve.

The Constitution of the United States is long dead. It is a well written document that any citizen with a decent high school education ought to be able to read and understand. Any decently educated college graduate ought to be able to interpret the nuances therein. There exists nothing more complicated in the document that that. However, the reality is that the document is interpreted and the interpretations are interpreted. Since 1861 successive presidents and congresses have ignored portions and redefined the original contract (without consent or authority). The Supreme Court has taken it upon itself to make law by judicial fiat. The Constitution is dead and with it the Republic it gave birth to.

There is no correction for the current system. It cannot be fixed. Replacing all the members of Congress will not fix it; a new President will not correct the course. It is impossible to cut out the cancer of bureaucracy and corruption that plague the system, the body is dying. A new system of government is the only solution. (mind you not a permanent solution because all built by man will eventually corrupt).

Thomas Jefferson knew full well that eventually all things must be done away with and started anew. "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." In our current environment the notion of patriots spilling the blood of tyrants is almost insane. The Federal government (and the numerous state and local governments that have abandoned their rightful role as sovereigns and become instead lackeys of the Fed) will not go quietly even in the face of decline. The very same spy and surveillance systems established today to protect good citizens against “terrorist” will serve a troubled government against an unhappy citizenry. Ignorance and apathy abound in the general population today, few even understand what good government ought to do and not do. How could one ever expect such an ignorant, selfish and lazy people to ever rise against a slightly or greatly more oppressive government, it will not happen. By the point that rational ordinary men ask what happened to my liberty the bindings of surveillance and control will be so complete that no hope will exist for a successfully spilling of tyrant blood.

We have set our course and we must now endure the consequences. Worse still our children must endure a fate we bequeathed them. We spent our time concerned with “hanging chads” and minor congressional squabbles and never once have we risen up as a people deserving of liberty and demanded our country back. We allowed our government to wage war illegally, grossly waste financial resources, implement numerous socialist programs and we were content to vote for people that claim to care about the important issues.

Do I see any hope at all? Yes at the end of a long and painful period of suffering two possible scenarios might play out.

First it is possible that our economic downturn could occur more dramatically than the incremental process we currently face. A depression with massive unemployment and hyper-inflation sustained over a period of a couple years or more would strain the socialist systems and create turmoil in the lower strata of society. This would result in a strengthen of government tyranny and suppression of the people in order to "save us". This event could be the catalyst for good people to do the right thing.

Second, and more probable the decline will remain incremental, even if there are spikes of extremely difficult times. Twenty to thirty years from now the system will not crash but the apparent weakness and ineptness will be apparent. States or people groups that wish to take advantage of that weakness will have an opportunity to reclaim their sovereignty and liberty. The devolution of the Soviet Union followed this model, relatively non-violently. Once the monster is too weak to fight that is the time to sneak from the cave.

I believe firmly that the second scenario is not only plausible but probable. That is so long as when the time comes there are other entities ready, willing and able to step in. The time between now and then will be difficult, it will be ugly and it will be painful. We ought not bemoan the death of the Federal government. It is already a terminal case, nothing we can do, nothing at all can save it. There is no point in spending effort or thought on saving it. We should look to history, realize that all things pass away and rejoice that we are able to see the death before the beast falls and crushes us. Our time is far better spent preparing for the time when we can reclaim our liberty.

This is now my charter. Folks like Bruce Beach, Cory Burnell, the Free Vermonters and everyone else looking to secure their little piece of liberty when the time comes have it just right. When the time comes, when the beast enters its death throws localities must be prepared to assert or reassert their sovereignty. The people must be educated enough to at least understand what is at stake and a core group of founding father type leaders must be available to build anew. My mission is exposing the failures of the current system and praising the efforts of those that are building movements that will eventually lead us to a better future (at least until man corrupts the new system and it too has to be replaced.)

Christian paleoconservative leviathan

Hiatus

There is so much to say, there always is. It seems that there is more to say than there is time in available.

I could talk about the Department of Defense's new policy requiring bloggers in Iraq and Afghanistan to "register" their blogs. Imagine that, I guess they got their lead from China and their mandate to bloggers. You know it is just impossible to tell a lie believably if pesky folks keep telling the other side of the story.

I could post my usual bit about the meaning of the 4th of July, ah but I am certain many of my compatriots will do an adequate job of this.

I thought the other day of posting a detailed rant on the recent Supreme Court rulings and how we paleo-conservatives have gotten it wrong on these issues. We are mad that the court ruled wrongly when our righteous indignation ought to be focused on the fact that the court is even hearing cases dealing with property rights, a States' Rights issue.

I thought of posting a critique of the July GQ article about Christian Exodus. But then I thought and despite the fact that the article portrayed some issues wrongly it was generally fair. Folks will read that article from the perspective in which they live, those that "get it" will understand, others will not. I believe ultimately the article will serve much good for our cause.

A couple months back I asked for some assistance in getting the word out about our new Christian Exodus blog. We considered starting a blog before but the knowledge that the GQ article was coming out spurred us to action. I appreciate the plugs and links that many of my readers provided. Your links assisted us in getting the page indexed by the search engines and listed on blog directories. My goal to have the site "deeply searchable" before the article appeared was achieved thanks to you. All I really hoped for was a tool to allow people that read the magazine article the chance to see a little deeper into us. I hope and pray that we gain a few additional supporters because of these efforts. I view this as a small victory.

Other small victories I count among my blogging efforts include meeting a small group of like-minded souls. My readership is not large but I can name almost everyone that consistently reads, comments or emails me. I have learned much from your opinions and questions and I have been enlightened by your writing.

I ask myself now what ought to rightly be my next goal. I have a pretty firm idea. I believe I have achieved as much as I can at the present through my blogging efforts. I have now a group of folks that I believe I can dialogue with from time to time. I also have found a couple of folks that I see as potential movers and shakers within the paleo-conservative movement (maybe not giants but men of great potential nonetheless). I am gladdened by this. In point of fact the knowledge that there are others much more capable than myself fighting the fight encourages me greatly.

I have decided to cease my blogging activity for a time. I need to fix the mark I hope to leave within our movement, no matter how small history may deem that to be. It will take me some time to work this out and I suspect I will be emailing a couple of you to ask for assistance once I have this idea shaped into an executable plan.

Until then, it has been grand dialoguing with you. I sincerely appreciate each and every person that has taken their time to read my writing on various sites. I will be back with my project firmly in hand and a renewed sense of purpose. Please feel free to email me in the interim, especially to my blogger friends that may write something especially important. I will most likely avoid reading blogs much to quell my urge to blog myself, but I would be interested in occasional reminders to check out particular post, I really mean that.

My heart belongs to God, my love to my family, my duty to my home. May Providence grant us the courage to persevere, the wisdom to overcome and the stamina to endure.

Reflections on What Matters

I prepare now to leave again for foreign lands to fulfill a duty I long ago swore. It is often at these times that one feels as if a great transcendence between worlds occurs. Here hearth and home provide a tranquil repose from the harsh realities of the world. A man has time to reflect on what is and what ought to be. Matters of philosophical and political matters find attendance in the idle mind. The pleasures of simple things become, at times, routine and often lose their rightful significance.

In the final analysis of what is important and what is meaningful it is the things that one finds in this world, here with amoung home and friends, that have the most significant meaning. I shall not for a moment assert that there is not meaning and purpose in the place to which I go. There are young souls in need of guidance, direction and leadership. There is work to be done. God is their in my heart and watching over me as well. I leave this life because at the very core of my being I am and have always been a creature existing in two worlds. I was born for the work that I do and no matter how painful the departure I cannot alter that fact.

The sadness of the goodbye and departure from my life here is nothing new. Yet it is the same emotion each time. These things simply do not become easier with repetition.

I have watched over the last several days as my beautiful, loving and devoted wife has busied herself with motherly preparations; asking me again and again if I packed this item or that. The packing is done, the preparations are complete. She has little to occupy her mind with except the fact that we will soon be apart. This wonderful gift from God has been my wife for thirteen of the nineteen years I have been in the military. She is no stranger to the goodbyes. She is solid and stalwart yet she is also tender and needy as each of us for the company of our companion. I love her with all my being and leaving her is always a sorrowful event.

My children have handled this as they have every other separation. My son has aged years in the last few months since I returned from my last deployment. His understanding of the world has greatly increased. He has had many questions of me that I have never had to answer before. My daughter is just attaining the age that she is capable of demonstrating that wonderful womanly quality of aloofness. She does not understand the reasons I must leave but she certainly has the ability to express her displeasure with alternating hug sessions followed by carefully orchestrated distance keeping. I suppose that is her defensive measure to meter out the hurt over a period of time rather than feel the full weight of it at once.

I am long since past real fear of physical danger. That is not to say that I have lost the ability to feel the rush of adrenaline and the anxious heartbeats that accompany real danger. I have seen real danger too often and escaped unscathed to think I am impervious. I have seen men die of the most inane accidents after facing what appeared to be impending doom and danger in other situations. I have, what might best be termed, a sense of fatalism about these things. Car accidents occur daily and kill thousands, a myriad number of other deaths await unsuspecting souls. What becomes of us here on Earth and what death awaits us is not entirely in our hands. In a very real sense it is not within our control at all. There is no rightful or justifiable purpose in concerning ourselves over these matters. There is no practical sense in having real fear, beyond that rational men have as a method of self-preservation.

My faith in God is always renewed whenever I face real danger. My faith in man is always diminished when I view the depravity that man visits upon man. No creature on Earth is a capable of building great wonders. No creature on Earth is as cruel to its on kind as man. I became convinced the first time I observed war, in all of its awful and powerful destruction, that the best cure for humanism and atheism was for man to go and experience this for himself. A man that can see with his own eyes, and smell with his own nose the result of man’s fallibility cannot with intellectual honesty declare that man is a supreme being.

I shall not post again until I return. This should be an easy and short deployment. I plan to be back in six months; “God willing and the creek don’t rise”. To those few souls that read my occasional rants I thank you and wish you well.

I go now to do what I must do because it is my job. My heart belongs to God, my love and affection remains with my wife, my devotion remains with my children and my hope remains with the freedom and prosperity of my home. Dum Spiro, Spero

Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem
El Cid